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dragonbat2006Not really that shocking. While many of us moved away, going back to visit the parents around the Jewish holidays happens and many are still in the old neighborhood.
I've mentioned it before, but I was socially and physically awkward as a kid. A bookworm, uncoordinated, lousy at sports, poor at small talk, intellectually smart but emotionally and socially, not so much. Which made me the kid everyone picked on.
It's funny but I don't actually remember having a miserable childhood. I mean, I can remember being bullied and crying every day. There were times when I felt miserable, but when I think back about those days, it's like the bad times mostly blur and the memories are of arts and crafts at summer camp, discovering favorite books, watching cartoons, having fun, even if it usually was on my own. (Things got a lot better when I got to college and found out that there were more geeks and introverts like me out there.)
So, last passover, I took my niece to the park near my parents and ran into one of the guys who used to pick on me. Most of the teasing tapered off after elementary school. This guy kept it up in high school too. And... he recognized me and apologized. Without my mentioning anything about the past. Heck. It was about 25 years ago. I stopped agonizing and moved on. But the apology did mean something.
Recently, I've started reconnecting on Facebook. My high school graduating class has a Facebook page and... you know how it is. Friend one person and FB starts recommending anyone that person is friends with who isn't already on your list. So, yeah. I've been sending friends requests. I got one person message me to ask if he knew me. (Not that shocking or painful. I go by my married name these days.) I told him "you used to. I was [maiden name]". And... he apologized too. Said he's felt bad about it for years and actually tried to find me a while back. (Yeah, changing my name will complicate stuff.)
On the one hand... it's really water under the bridge at this point. On the other hand, it kind of gives me hope. One of the small-t tv tropes out there has got to be "Person A suffered at the hands of Person B years ago and finally wants to confront them and demand an apology for the event that ruined their life. At the confrontation, Person B barely remembers Person A's name, much less what happened. This major major event in Person A's life was just a passing blip on Person B's radar. Or, Person B looks at Person A like they're some sort of fool and goes 'Whoa. You've been bothered about this for the last 25 years? You really are pathetic.'"
I think at this point, I don't really need apologies anymore. But sometimes even things you don't need are kind of nice when you get them.
I've mentioned it before, but I was socially and physically awkward as a kid. A bookworm, uncoordinated, lousy at sports, poor at small talk, intellectually smart but emotionally and socially, not so much. Which made me the kid everyone picked on.
It's funny but I don't actually remember having a miserable childhood. I mean, I can remember being bullied and crying every day. There were times when I felt miserable, but when I think back about those days, it's like the bad times mostly blur and the memories are of arts and crafts at summer camp, discovering favorite books, watching cartoons, having fun, even if it usually was on my own. (Things got a lot better when I got to college and found out that there were more geeks and introverts like me out there.)
So, last passover, I took my niece to the park near my parents and ran into one of the guys who used to pick on me. Most of the teasing tapered off after elementary school. This guy kept it up in high school too. And... he recognized me and apologized. Without my mentioning anything about the past. Heck. It was about 25 years ago. I stopped agonizing and moved on. But the apology did mean something.
Recently, I've started reconnecting on Facebook. My high school graduating class has a Facebook page and... you know how it is. Friend one person and FB starts recommending anyone that person is friends with who isn't already on your list. So, yeah. I've been sending friends requests. I got one person message me to ask if he knew me. (Not that shocking or painful. I go by my married name these days.) I told him "you used to. I was [maiden name]". And... he apologized too. Said he's felt bad about it for years and actually tried to find me a while back. (Yeah, changing my name will complicate stuff.)
On the one hand... it's really water under the bridge at this point. On the other hand, it kind of gives me hope. One of the small-t tv tropes out there has got to be "Person A suffered at the hands of Person B years ago and finally wants to confront them and demand an apology for the event that ruined their life. At the confrontation, Person B barely remembers Person A's name, much less what happened. This major major event in Person A's life was just a passing blip on Person B's radar. Or, Person B looks at Person A like they're some sort of fool and goes 'Whoa. You've been bothered about this for the last 25 years? You really are pathetic.'"
I think at this point, I don't really need apologies anymore. But sometimes even things you don't need are kind of nice when you get them.
